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Aging
Gracefully or Fighting It All the Way...
A
person can respond to age two ways, she continues, "By being
depressed and hiding out, or by doing the best you can with what is left
of your life." Women
who turn 40 today have a lot more going for them than those who reached
that milestone a generation ago. They
are more likely to still have young children at home, having started their
families later than their mothers did.
Because
so many of them work outside the home, they have wide range of interests
and activities in addition to their home life.
While mom may have agonized over what she would do when the kids
left home, today's woman is more likely to wish them well and then to
launch a new career or concentrate on putting the romance back into her
marriage. Today's woman has
learned that reaching 40 does not signal
the end to her satisfying sex life.
Mid-life crisis isn't even in her vocabulary. CHANGES...NOT
CATASTROPHES During
the middle years, there are, in fact, a significant number of
physiological changes that take place in a woman's body.
Some can be modified; some can be controlled; but none can be
avoided altogether. The
important thing is to realize which is which. Since
no one has found the Fountain of Youth, there is no magic formula to ward
off aging. While science
continues its search for the genes that decide how people age, we know
that to a large extent how a person ages is strongly influenced by some controllable
lifestyle factors: exposure to sunlight; whether or not they smoke;
whether or not they exercise and eat well; how they handle stress; and
their outlook on life. SEXUALITY If
sex has been an important and enjoyable part of your life during your
younger years, there is no reason to expect it to change because you have
suddenly crossed an arbitrary age barrier.
From
a purely physical standpoint, the potential for sexual enjoyment increases
with age. Practical
experience has its benefits, too. Inhibitions
often disappear once she is liberated from the fear of pregnancy.
With the nest empty, there may be more time for leisurely
lovemaking. There
are many more things involved other than estrogen when it comes to female
sexuality. An active interest
in sex has as much to do with a good mental attitude as it does with
hormones. It is hard to feel
sexy, for example, when
you're worried about an aging parent, an adult child's divorce, or how to
meet escalating household bills. There
are also some physical changes that take place that can, if ignored,
interfere with sex. Both the
uterus and cervix shrink in size and vaginal secretions that provide
lubrication during intercourse decrease.
This can usually be solved with a water-soluble, non-petroleum
based lubricant available without prescription. Menopause does not affect a woman's ability to have an orgasm, although for some the duration or intensity may somewhat decrease. An old myth has turned out to be true. Research conducted by Masters and Johnson confirmed (somewhat indelicately) that "if you don't use it, you lose it." They
concluded that regular sexual activity (at least once or twice each week)
seems to keep the vagina moist and elastic, and can eliminate problems
with uterine cramping during orgasm. The
most important ingredient for a healthy sex life after 40 is
unquestionably good communication with your spouse.
As physical changes occur or obstacles are encountered (lack of
arousal, impotence, failure to reach climax) a candid and open discussion
may be the best medicine.
For information about physiological changes, or if you have specific questions or concerns about sexuality, don't brood about it...ask your doctor. Knowing that there is nothing wrong with you can make a world of difference.
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Randy A. Birken, M.D., F.A.C.S., F.A.C.O.G. Copyright 2000-2006 Randy A. Birken, M.D., F.A.C.S.,
F.A.C.O.G. All Right
Reserved
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